Posts Tagged ‘doctor’

“I know an old woman who swallowed a fly.
I don’t know why…
She swallowed a fly…
Perhaps she’ll die.”

I have high blood pressure and take tablets to reduce it. I’ve been taking the same tablets for more years than I care to remember. In the UK, they were prescribed to me by the doctor but since moving here, like so many other things, my health has assumed a much higher DIY content. I have a small machine that straps onto my wrist with which I monitor my pressure from time to time and I buy my tablets over the counter.

Recently, I have begun to realise that I am paying full price for my medication when I’m actually entitled to get medicines at a reduced rate as Jack is paying the autónimo (the equivalent of national insurance contributions only MUCH more expensive).
I’ve also noticed a hike in the readings on my monitor, which is not good and my nursey friend tells me the type of tablets I’m taking are medically speaking akin to the abacus and that medicines in the treatment of high blood pressure have moved on apace.

So, it’s high time I went to see a doctor and got myself some better, cheaper medication.
If only it were that easy.

Before I can see a doctor I have to be registered.
She swallowed a spider to catch the fly

And before I can be registered, Jack has to be registered.
She swallowed a bird to catch the spider

So it’s off to the local health centre where Jack gets himself registered for a tarjeta  sanatoria, or health card.

“So, can I make an appointment to see the doctor please?”
“No. Before you can see a doctor you have to be registered as Jack’s beneficiary as he’s the one paying the autónimo, not you.”
She swallowed a cat to catch the bird

“And can I do that here?”
“No, you have to go to Social Services in La Orotava.”
She swallowed a dog to catch the cat

As these establishments are only open for mornings, we’re now looking at another lost half day.

After queuing for an hour in the grottiest public office I’ve seen since the 1980s, we find that before I can register as a beneficiary I need to be registered as a citizen of the EU which I have to do at the local police station in Puerto de la Cruz.
She swallowed a goat to catch the dog

Another day, another venue and a couple of mornings later we head off to the local police station.
But before I can get my certificate of registration as an EU citizen, I need my empadronamiento or certificate of residence in Puerto, which I get from the Ayuntamiento (Town Hall).
She swallowed a cow to catch the goat

“I know an old woman who swallowed a fly.
I don’t know why…
She swallowed a fly…
Perhaps she’ll die.”

I know how she feels.

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